Sometimes.

Sometimes we are just too busy for ourselves…

Sometimes life is too busy for us…

Sometimes our environment isn’t colorful enough to paint a beautiful picture…

No matter the circumstance sometimes we just need to escape…

 

-Gene

 

What’s your escape? is it a book? album? a place? Or is it multiple things and places?

 

Ignorance is what you make it.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being misguided for a point or at certain points in our lives. Admitting our ignorance, I find that to be one of the hardest things. Ego is involved, emotions are involved and everything in between. We all want to be right and know what we’re talking about. But a lot of the times we don’t know….

Misguided, to me, is a great thing. It means we’re vulnerable and curious. Both of those traits can work in our favor. In a vulnerable and curious state it leaves us in a constant search. A search for oneself. That old cliche saying holds true in this aspect, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” So as we’re going through this state of not knowing, second guessing, or simply walking in the dark seeking advice and inspiration, we need to focus on becoming mentally competitive.

When we’re searching to find ourselves, our purpose or our passion, nowadays we can easily get caught up with something that may look appealing and inspiring and we may start to think, “Oh, that might work for me too”. That doesn’t hold true all the time. There’s a lot of noise out here and we can easily find ourselves caught up in it. If we latch onto something for too long it may be a detriment rather than a benefit. Only by becoming mentally competitive and standing firm on our moral plateau will we know if what we’re doing is aligned with our purpose and our vision. We’ll still make plenty of mistakes (inevitable), but they’ll be high quality mistakes, mistakes that we will learn a great deal from and in the future prevent someone else from going left when they should’ve swerved right.

internal wins.

Have you ever heard something so profound, or ever physically saw something so strikingly beautiful that you couldn’t put into words how it made you feel?

May be a book you read, a song/verse you heard, a woman, the sunset.

Whatever it may have been, you immediately submitted and gave thanks for being able to literally and physically have the ears, eyes, and the brain functioning power to have even witnessed such a thing.

Man up.

As thirty something year old black man, I see other men my age who walk pass younger black kids and don’t speak. I think that’s wrong and it sends the wrong kind of energy. I know these young brothas out here can be a lil aggressive and even intimidating but we have to find the courage to approach them sometimes. Whether it’s just a greeting to show respect or love or we may have to tell them to pull their pants up or to mindful of where they are. Example, I took my daughter to the park one day. She was 3 at the time. There were a bunch of kids playing on one side of the park. They were accompanied by their parents or some kind of adult. The park was super crowded. The kids were all saying that they wanted to play on the other side of the park where the smaller slide and swings were. The adults simultaneously said “No, don’t go over there.” With a very concerned/strong tone…. There were some older kids over there gambling, talking loud, and whatever else you can imagine. It was about 5 or 6 of them. Honestly, I wouldn’t have had any problem with what they were doing, especially if they weren’t bothering anyone. It wouldn’t have been any of my business, but in this case they weren’t conscious or mindful of what they were doing and how it was effecting other people. Especially when you’re taking over a kids playground and the parents are basically terrified and wouldn’t dare say anything to those guys. I don’t blame them. Who knows what could happen when you see some teenagers gambling in a park. I beat myself up over it for a second because I didn’t act immediately. But when my daughter said “daddy, I want to go play on the other slide.” I could not and would not tell my child that she couldn’t go over there because some teenagers are over there by the slide/monkey bars. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I was nervous, wasn’t scared at all but I’m in tune with what’s going on in the streets these days, shit can get outta hand pretty quick. Plus I couldn’t be a punk, my daughter and her mother were watching. I calmly approached the young men, introduced myself, gave them all a strong dap, looked them all in the eyes and asked them to be mindful of these little kids and their parents. I also told them that in no way was I trying to tell them what to do and honestly I let them know I can’t make them do anything. My sole purpose was to make them think. To possibly think in a way they’re not use to thinking. I told them the cool thing would be to take this activity maybe around the corner or at least some distance away from the slide so the kids and parents could play, run around freely and feel safe. They shouldn’t be restricted in a park that was created specifically for them. It worked. Right away the teenagers picked up their things and moved away from the slide. It was all love. No negative energy, no disrespect on either side. I’d like to think that we all walked away from that situation feeling a little better or slightly different.

Stay true.

When you’ve reached certain points in life it feels like a weight lifted off your shoulders. Point being, the reason of this post stems from a conversation I literally had with myself a few years ago.

I’ve always loved clothes. Everything about clothing/fashion has always intrigued me. The process, the time invested, the fabric/material, the inspiration behind it etc. As a young man I always wanted the latest and greatest. That meant spending my last or money that I actually didn’t have just to “look” or “feel” cool. I’m still very much in love with fashion. But more interested in honest fashion, no scratch that. What the hell is honest fashion? I guess I’m into honest expression, honest style. Actually choosing to wear an article of clothing that means something to you, not just wearing something because the latest entertainer said it was the cool thing to buy.

Years ago when I realized that I wanted freedom more than I wanted to look or feel cool, a transformation took place. I desperately needed to be honest with myself. One day I woke up and said to myself if you keep buying the latest item that comes out every week, you’re going to remain broke. Not just financially, but “broken” in all forms. Spending unnecessary money on trendy shit just doesn’t feel good. It honestly never did but at one point I was too ignorant to pinpoint exactly what that feeling was so I just ignored it. It’s a feeling of emptiness. I’m still fighting that battle. Like I’ve stated, I’m into honest expression. I no longer feel out of place if my shoes/clothing aren’t the newest or the most expensive. I feel wonderful knowing that I am expressing my truth. My honest style and how that equates to my everyday life.

Random questions I asked myself today.

  1. Can I do more?
  2. What am I willing to risk?
  3. Am I telling, living, expressing my truth?
  4. What kind of person would my daughter describe me as?
  5. Am I the best son, friend, brother, grandson, uncle… that I can be?
  6. Am I in control of my emotions?
  7. Do I give enough… love, time, attention, affection…?
  8. Am I overthinking most things?
  9. Do I have what it takes to live the life that I desire?
  10. Can I do more?